Poem | HIV+

in the early morning hours, as I turn my lights out
the nighttime shadows play games on walls around
the typical evening songs are orchestrated outside
demons rise, and devils awake as sleepless nights once again await

anger flames up again as my mind refuses to shut down
feeling empty spaces next to me on the bed
where once a friend and lover await
nothing more now than a memory,
a warm body now only ashes carried in the wind.

anger burning inside, out of control
if you don’t know, why not stick a rubber over your dick
another piece of me has ceased to exist.
pointless thoughts raging in my head,
what is past, is past, nothing but emptiness remains,
filled with memory, counterweighted by resentment and anger.

if only sleep could carry me away
from missing what once was, for it is no more
taken away by irresponsible and reckless behaviour,
a disregard for self and human life
by a stranger whom I will never meet,
possibly a friend I will never suspect

another victim has been claimed
another loved one left behind
to pick up the pieces and carry on.
Sleep, I await!

Copyright © Anthony Gillespie